I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
