I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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