I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
