friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
