hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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