I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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