coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
