Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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