I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize