I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
