I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
