somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
