How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
