I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
