Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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