remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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