is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
