I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
