I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
