I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
