We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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