His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need water and some morals
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