She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
