You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
