i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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