thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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