I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
