Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
