Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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