margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
