I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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