"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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