proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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