At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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