Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
