I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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