what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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