I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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