He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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