so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
