Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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