i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
