I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
