The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
