She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
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Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
There's even glitter on my cock...
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