Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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