So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
