Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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