My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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