Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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