His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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