never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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