just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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