The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Randomize
