He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
